


Arachnophone

by lilyxxxooo



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, BoyxBoy, Cute, Dan - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, Parents, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Phil - Freeform, Protective Parents, danandphil - Freeform, danhowell, fears, parent!phan, phillester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:22:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24059674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilyxxxooo/pseuds/lilyxxxooo
Summary: arachnophobe/əˈraknəfəʊb/noun1. a person with an extreme or irrational fear of spiders.One day, whilst babysitting his two children, Emily, 7, and Colby, 2, Dan encounters something that could ruin his day. Worst of all, he promised Phil he was going to be responsible this time.Warnings: spiders(brief mention, not a lot of detail)
Relationships: Dan Howell & Phil Lester, Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	Arachnophone

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I hope you're all well. I was watching Dan's VR video in the spider cave and was inspired to write this word jumble. I hope you enjoy it, and are staying safe!  
> Also, follow my tumblr @dramaticlester

"Are you 100% positive you'll be okay alone with them?" Phil asked for the 20th time.

Dan rolled his eyes, sighing in annoyance, "I'm not a child, Phil. I'm certain I know how to babysit our children."

"Last time you were left alone with just Emily, you ended up crying," Phil reminded him, getting his coat down from the hook. Dan had Colby balanced on his hip as he walked Phil towards the door.

"She was a baby then and I didn't know what I was doing! I've learned now," Dan said.

"Alright, I'll trust you," Phil hesitated, leaning in to kiss Dan's cheek. He kissed Colby's head and accepted Emily's big hug. "Be good for dad, I'll be home soon!"

Emily giggled once the door closed and ran into the living room to play with her toys. Dan sighed and followed her.

"You cried when you babysat me, dad?" Emily asked curiously, carrying on with her drawing of a lemon.

"You were a very annoying baby," Dan moaned.

Emily gasped, "Annoying? You can't say that, dad!"

"Sorry sweetheart, you're perfect now!" Dan reassured, giggling. Emily shrugged, accepting his explanation, but stayed silent. Dan placed Colby on the floor to join Emily. He turned the TV on to some kid program and set to reply to his emails. Since he and Phil had adopted the kids, they hadn't had much time for work. They filmed the occasional video, Phil more-so than Dan. Just enough to pay the bills. They hadn't told the fans about the kids yet, they weren't quite sure when it would be appropriate to. However, Dan came across an email from their merch company, suggesting that they let Emily and Colby wear the clothes and 'model' them. It sounded interesting, but Dan wasn't prepared to decide without Phil. He archived the message, and carried on scrolling.

At around noon, Emily and Colby became restless and hungry.

"Daddy, can we have some food?" Emily asked. 

"Sure, what do you want?" Dan asked, picking Colby up and going into the kitchen.

Emily sat at the breakfast bar as she thought about it. Dan raised an eyebrow at her as he placed Colby into his high chair.

"Pa usually makes us dinosaur nuggets," she decided. Shit. 

Now, to some, it was easy to make dinosaur nuggets. Easy wasn't really in Dan's vocabulary though. This is why Phil made the dinner usually. Dan nodded and opened the freezer to get them out.

"How do you make them?" He said, dumbly.

"I'm 7," Emily said, her large brown eyes felt teasing.

"And I'm 28," Dan grumbled. He couldn't text Phil and ask how to make fucking dinosaur nuggets. "Surely you've watched Pa do it before, right?"

"He just puts them in the oven," Emily giggled. 

Dan groaned and read the back of the packet. He was so stupid. You literally just put them on a tray and bake them in the oven, he thought to himself. He put the nuggets into the oven and put some beans in the microwave. Dan brought Emily's colours and some paper into the kitchen to occupy her and Colby whilst they waited. 

Dan was helping her colour in a flower when he felt his phone buzz.

phil (to Dan)

Is everything okay?

Dan (to phil)

yes. wheres the trust?

Dan put his phone down and carried on colouring, only stopping to help Colby draw a car.

The buzzer went off on the oven, and Dan stood up to get the kid's food out. He was rather proud of himself for baking the death dinos. 

"Well done, dad!" Emily grinned. 

Dan blushed when he realised she'd noticed how happy he was with himself. He plated the dinner up with the beans and gave Emily her plate, then sat down to feed Colby.

Dinner went smoothly, Emily even complimented his cooking, "It's almost as good as Pa's."

...He would take it. He also managed to give Colby his without half of it spilling down his clothes, which was a plus. Once they'd finished, he put their plates into the dishwasher and let Colby out of his chair.

"Can you watch Colby whilst I just eat my sandwich, love?" He said to Emily. Emily nodded, taking Colby's hand and leading him to the living room. Dan was glad that no massive incidents had happened yet. The calm before the storm, you might say. 

"Dad!" Emily called. Dan felt like something was wrong. The worst-case scenarios flashed through his mind. He rose from his seat quickly and got into the living room. If the worst-case scenario was one of the children being hurt, then this was a death scenario. Because there, in the middle of the room, was a spider.

Dan screamed, pulling Emily and Colby away and into the living room.

"Dad! It's just a spider," Emily said, making a move to go back into the living room.

"Do not go in there!" Dan squealed, pacing back and forth as he thought of what to do in this situation. He felt sick as he thought about the spindly legs, almost heaving.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked as Dan sat down. She crawled up onto his knee and threw her arms around his neck. Dan let his daughter comfort him, circling his arms around her waist and pulling her in closer.

"I'm scared of spiders," Dan said to her once she pulled away. Her eyes were wide in panic.

"Why don't you ask grandma?" Emily said quickly, taking his phone off the table. Dan went to stop her, but noticed his phone was still unlocked from when he'd been scrolling through his twitter and she'd managed to locate the number of Phil's mum. Now he felt stupid. Also, who had taught her to use a phone?

"Emily, don't dist-"

"Hi, grandma!" Emily chirped down the phone, grinning. She pressed the speaker button as Kath replied.

"Hi, sweetie. Are you okay? Where's your dad?" Kath questioned.

"I'm here, Mrs. Lester. Hi," Dan sighed. "Sorry about that, I couldn't stop her."

"Oh give over! I'm just glad you're alive and she didn't ring me instead of 999," Kath joked. "Plus, you don't ring me anymore. I was ready to give you some advice on Philip!"

Dan groaned at Kath's joke, putting his head in his hands. He used to ring Kath to learn how to deal with Phil's annoying quirks. He'd figured it out with a bit of guidance, and no longer had to ask.

"Gram!" Colby slurred. He couldn't speak the best yet, so he always referred to her as 'gram'.

"Grandma, there's a spider in the living room, and dad's scared!" Emily explained. 

"Oh no!" Kath exclaimed. "You okay, love? I remember when I had to come and rescue you with a cup and some paper because you wouldn't let Phil go." 

If Dan wasn't already red, he was now. He felt his skin burn. He'd had a panic attack when Phil had a spider in his room when he was younger and Kath had had to come and get it with a cup.

"I'm fine, thanks. I'm making us camp out in the kitchen until Phil gets home which is in-" Dan checked his watch. "Three hours."

"You can't sit in the kitchen for three hours!" Kath said. "If only I was downstairs."

"Hey, it's fine! Emily had stuff in the kitchen to play with, and her room," Dan said. "Again, sorry for bothering you."

"You can call me whenever you want, darling! Goodbye, my loves," Kath said cheerfully.

"Bye," Emily said, giving Dan his phone back and smiling cheekily. Dan smiled back; he couldn't be mad at her for being so thoughtful.

"Okay, dad. I'm going to save you," Emily smiled, getting her plastic cup off the table from dinner and one of the pieces of paper on the table. 

"Where are you going?!" Dan exclaimed, Emily scurrying off before he could catch her. Dan wanted to follow her, stop her, but he felt frozen to his place as he thought about what was in there. Colby looked at him curiously, tugging on his shirt to be lifted. Dan picked Colby up as Emily came back into the kitchen holding her cup with some paper placed underneath it. 

"See, dad, it's okay! I saved us!" Emily beamed, gesturing to the cup. "The spiders in here!"

Dan held back another screech as a shiver wracked through his body. He put Colby back on the floor, holding his hand, and went to the front door, opening it up and letting Emily step out with the cup. She placed it on the floor, releasing the little demon, and then made her way back inside. After the door was shut, Dan crouched onto the floor where Emily was stood swaying, with her hands clasped behind her back.

"Sorry for getting the spider when you said no. I just wanted to save you," she said quietly, looking down at her feet which were clad with mismatched socks (definitely Phil's daughter.) Dan was awed at his daughter. He reached a hand out to move some of her black fringe away so he could look into chocolate eyes. He never liked his eyes, never understood Phil's obsession with them. However, the day he looked into her eyes, he fell in love with them. All he could see was kindness, sunshine, and love. 

"Oh, sweetheart," he whispered. "My saviour."

He wrapped her up in his arms, kissing the side of her head. Colby wrapped his arms around her legs, too.

"I love you. You don't need to be scared anymore," Emily smiled.

"I won't be scared anymore."

***************

Dan, Emily and Colby were all snuggled together on the couch when Phil returned home. Colby had fallen asleep on Dan's chest at some point and Emily had her head on his shoulder.

"Everyone's in one piece, I see?" was the first thing he said upon entering the living room.

"Pa!" Emily grinned, standing up and reaching her arms up to him. He lifted her, snuggling her tight before kissing her black curls.

"Have you been good?" Phil questioned her with a smile, placing her back down on her feet and bending down so he was at eye level.

"Yes! I saved dad's life today!" She beamed. Phil snickered, looking at Dan who was blushing again.

"Well, I wouldn't quite put it like that," he mumbled.

"My mum called, you know? It was quite interesting," Phil teased. "Something about a spider?"

"I didn't call her, Emily did!" Dan insisted.

"She couldn't come, so I had to save dad instead. I used my cup and got it because dad was sad about it," Emily explained. Phil's face softened as he looked at his husband. He knew how he got around spiders.

"Well, thank God you were here to look after him!" Phil said, tickling her sides, making her squeal. Phil went to sit next to Dan on the sofa and kissed him on the lips. He looked down at Colby who was sleeping soundly on Dan's chest, his heart fluttering in his chest at the sight.

"He's having his nap. We should wake him up in an hour or so," Dan mumbled. Phil nodded, helping Dan off the sofa so they could take Colby to his room. Dan put him in his bed and turned to leave the room before he was stopped by a hand on his arm. He turned to look at Phil who kissed him again, for longer. He placed his hands on Dan's hips, pulling him closer. When he pulled away, he moved a hand up to Dan's cheek, running his thumb along his cheekbone.

"I don't blame you for what happened today, Dan. I know it's always been an anxiety for you," Phil murmured. "I think you've done an amazing job with them today, and I underestimated you."

Dan snorted and rolled his eyes, "It was a fucking mess, Phil. I made our 7-year-old daughter get a spider because I was such a wimp."

"No, Dan. You were trying to protect her from something you're scared of. That's fine; it was an instinct. I think that makes you a pretty fantastic, father," Phil explained, the fondness in his words was almost unbearable. "Every day, you're going to have to help her with something she's scared of and it's a part of growing up. It's nice that she could help you today."

Dan smiled, taking Phil's hand that was on his cheek and leaving a kiss on it, "Thank you, love. I think maybe we're both pretty fantastic."

"I couldn't agree more."


End file.
